I Suck, Obviously

I'd like to apologize to my two semi-loyal readers for not having updated in almost two months. At first it was because I was busy with Production Lab and finishing the semester, but then it just became laziness. I will try to update more regularly from now on. Here's a brief overview of what you've missed:

• I'm back in Dallas and have been for almost a month now. I'm staying with John and still have yet to convince him that a clean apartment in a happy apartment.
• I got 3 A's, an A-, and a B+ for the semester and made honor roll (which I sort of didn't realize was an actual thing). This was probably my best semester since kindergarten. Unfortunately, now my mother knows I'm capable of making good grades, which means she'll encourage them.
• I'm back to working at the community college theatre department. Our summer musical is going to be Chess (which you may know for the hit '80s song "One Night in Bangkok").
• I'm starting a five week (Monday through Thursday, 9:40am-11:40am) yoga class tomorrow, which I'm taking in order to be able to work as a Student Assistant at the theater.
• I spent a few days doing follow spot for the 1st and 2nd graders at the Dallas International School for their end of the year performance. I will hopefully get paid for that soon. It was kind of cool, because my mom was a kindergarten assistant there last year, so I knew some of the kids. Six-year-olds singing in French are adorable.
  
• We're in pre-production for the second installment of Sam Bogart (which will be the first actual episode). I'm in this one as a short, white, sad clown henchman to the bad guy. John's directing, and he and Sam have been working for the past two weeks to get the absolute perfect jokes in the script. The film noir spoof Sam Bogart, as well as Rex Kennedy (which is an adventure serial spoof invented for this year's 48-Hour Film Project, which the gang unfortunately did not win), will hopefully, maybe, be turned into web series, which would be awesome.
  
• I finally got around to writing to Shaun at basic. Hopefully he gets my letter before he graduates. I'm a master procrastinator.
• I miss my roommate and am sad that she is no longer my roommate.

Plenty of other stuff has happened since mid-April, but this is the abridged version. I will update soon and get this blog back on track, but I just wanted to let you know I'm still alive--I'm just a lazy bum. Talk to ya soon!

Quick Follow Spot Thought

I just had my first night of Production Lab (the SM let us out way early, so SCORE!). As you know, I'm a follow spot operator when I can help it. For this show, there are three spot ops (an odd number of ops is, for lack of a better word, odd), one of whom runs one spot, the other two (myself included) run two. It's kind of a weird setup, so maybe I'll post a picture in a few days. I love working spot, because 1) I'm good at it (it's just about the only thing at which I claim to be good), and 2) it's a super-cushy job (if it's not your first time and you're worrying the whole run about everything). As we were standing around being talked to about random stuff, I came up with this:



Yeah, it was between that and "SPOT OPS DO IT WITH PINPOINT ACCURACY." I chose the less wordy of two evils. That shirt is actually on sale and I get a royalty if any sell, but since I didn't even buy it, I'm not thinking anyone else will. Which is fine. At least I've put a possibly usable, technical theatre related joke out there. So go me.

Enjoy the rest of your night, sports fans!

My Film And Theatre Plans For The Upcoming Months (In A Few Nutshells)

I went home this weekend. I'd been hoping to go for months, since this would be the only time between Spring and Summer vacations that would really be feasible, but I didn't think I'd be able to, because I'm short on cash. But John's under a lot of stress right now, and it was hurting my heart to have to comfort him over the phone, so I got my dad to put enough money in my account Friday morning to cover my bus ticket to Dallas (on the trade-off that I be his cookie-baking slave all summer), and headed up that afternoon. I was going to keep it secret from John and surprise him, but I had to tell him so he wouldn't be up at the school editing all night. It was a pretty great weekend, and I had access to a kitchen, so I made taco meat Friday night and chili Sunday night (no, they're definitely not the same thing), and I finally saw all of Young Frankenstein (the first time I tried to get through it, it was too late at night and I fell asleep). Yeah, basically John and I spend our lazy time together cooking/eating and watching movies. I also caught up on Modern Family. And, y'know, interacted with John as well.

On Saturday, the group had the first big meeting for the 48 Hour Film Project, so even though I'll be in Austin follow spotting a play the weekend of the Project, I at least got to go to the first meeting and feel like I was part of it. I really wish I could work on it this year, but there will always be other opportunities. 48 Hour is actually the reason John and I first started hanging out, so it has a special place in my heart.

On the subject: This obviously isn't our 48 Hour film from last year (ours was in English and, y'know, didn't win anything), but here is the winner from the 2009 48 Hour Film Project:



I hadn't planned on my family knowing I was in town this weekend, because I went up to be with John, so the fact that my younger brother was at the meeting blew the plan (I asked him not to tell my mom because she'd bitch about me not coming to see her, but he did, claiming he needed an excuse for something or another; and, surprise, she totally bitched at me for not coming to see her).

I went to my faculty advisor and academic advisor yesterday, so now when the time comes to register for classes a week from today, I'll have already gotten all of that out of the way. The only thing that came as a minor blow during my meetings with them was finding out that the Speaking Shakespeare class has been changed to an Empowering Acting Through Voice class, but I think I'll take it anyway, because that's still very useful and will hopefully help with my diction, which is pretty much awful.

So, I thought I'd start talking about all the rad stuff in the performing arts realm that I have planned for the summer. This will be elaborated upon in future posts, because it's about to become my life, and there's a lot I want to say about this stuff that I won't here. So to keep it simple (for now): I'll be working at the local community college's theatre department in Dallas for the third year in a row, which involves working the summer musical; I might (hopefully, if the script's any good) be directing a feature the second half of the summer (and bringing in my crew); and the group will be shooting a bunch of one-day/one-weekend shorts throughout the summer. And I'm still trying to finish my script before the semester ends so John can critique it for me and I can fix it up and maybe workshop it while I'm home before trying to get it performed at the New Works Festival next spring. In short, this summer is going to be awesomely rad!

John just started a film technology and media blog, A Minced Theology (which is an anagram of the words "technology" and "media"). I don't know if it's going to be any good, but I figured I'd plug it anyway.

Now I have to go to my first night of Production Lab for The Difficulty of Crossing a Field. Hope I don't die of boredom; first night is always a drag for spot ops.

This One's For The Jews (sorry, John)

Here's a bunch of things to do with any leftover matzah you have from Passover (or any you buy on uber-sale now):

• feed to birds
• use as one-time-use flying disc
• put in sibling's bed
• give to hobos (receive funny looks)
• hide in copy of Moby Dick (it will never be found)

Eating matzah outside of Pesach may go against some people's beliefs, but not against some others', and not against mine, as I believe in eating my food. Because children are starving in Africa and I worked over that hot stove all day and wait until your father hears the way you treat me, OY! So now, some edible suggestions.:

• Mix cream cheese with jalapenos, garlic, and green olives or capers (or both), spread on matzah, top with lox.
• Use in place of chips for dip (matzah has very little flavor, which is perfect for when you actually like the flavor of the dip).
• A staple: Matzah Pizza. Top with tomato paste or sauce, top with cheese, black olives, onions, green peppers, and mushrooms.
• Crumble on top of casseroles for a crunchy top.
• Nibble on plain matzah to encourage yourself to drink more water.
• Top with almond butter, banana, and honey.
• A delicious breakfast: Matzah Brei. Crumble matzah into small pieces (but not crumbs) over a colander. Hold under running water until matzah softens but isn't entirely soggy. Mix with enough egg to hold it together (one or two per serving) and cinnamon-sugar. Fry like scrambled eggs, serve sprinkled with more cinnamon-sugar.
• Matzah lasagna. Soak matzah in hot water, then use as you would lasagna noodles.
• Spread with butter and sprinkle on salt or cinnamon-sugar for a snack.
• Make sandwiches (especially good if you also have leftover horseradish and charoset to get rid of).
• Get creative!

Have fun with your leftover matzah. And get rid of that shit soon; your goy friends are starting to look at you funny.

Updates For Two Days In A Row?! It's A Sign Of The Apocalypse!

Hey, y'all. Now that I have the web back in my room, my internet addiction has returned full-force. Which will be awful for my grades but great for YOU, my imaginary readers, because it makes me want to post. Even though I don't have much to say. So maybe it's not so great for you.

My roommate is off at general auditions for next season's MainStage shows. I made her perform her monologue for me, and it was good. And--oh, wait, she just walked in complaining about one of our suitemates, who is kind of a bitch. And "kind of a bitch" is being kind. Apparently, our suitemate pulled the front door of the building (it's a very public dorm building, meaning it has food facilities) closed behind her when she saw my roommate coming. That's not too bitchy as far as bitchiness goes, but it's the thought that counts, I guess. Plus, my roommate is a little less "let it slide" than I am.

I put a big ol' bottle of grape juice in the freezer last night and accidentally forgot about it, so it's been sitting out thawing for hours, and I'm out of lemon juice for my water, so rather than of cutting up a real lemon or drinking plain water, I'm letting myself get a thirst headache instead.

Ramble ramble ramble.



There, now my rambling actually had a point of some sort.

No, Ari, it didn't.

Oh, geez. I think the internet may be talking to me. This relapse of my web addiction could be bad.

So, the Fall course schedule came out online today, and I've figured out what classes I want to take next semester. I'm hoping to take Advanced Production Lab (my last one), Second Semester German, Speaking Shakespeare, and Beginning Fencing. If it works out, I'll won't have any classes before 12:30pm, and I won't have any Friday classes. Fencing and Speaking Shakespeare are going to be a little scary, but it'll be my last year of college, so why not push my comfort zones?

Which reminds me, I keep forgetting to tell y'all that I got the single room for next year, but it'll be across campus (the single rooms across the street went fast) and it'll have a community restroom, which I haven't had to deal with since Freshman year, but it's fine. I'll be right across the street from food AND my first class every day (if the schedule works out).

And speaking of working out, I need to start doing that more. Before Spring Break, I was doing 500 assorted crunches six days a week, and now it's more like 50. Bleh.

My dad gave be a pound of lox as part of the army's worth of food he brought me, so I'm going to go buy bagels. I'm sorry to have assaulted y'all with the random inner ramblings of my mind. I swear I'm neither a street corner bum nor Hitler (if you've ever tried to read Mein Kampf, then you understand the analogy). Later!

P.S.- Oh, yeah, it's John's mom's birthday! Happy Birthday, John's mom!!

I Might Owe My Dad An Apology For Not Speaking To Him At All Last School Year

UPDATE: I have internet access in my room again!!! Also, my WiFi is working after a long hiatus from doing so. My dad came back up from San Antonio on his way home to Dallas today and brought me more food and then stood at the ITS Help Desk for over an hour (while I went to my German class) and got my ResNet cleared from quarantine and my WiFi prettied up, so I probably owe him some cookies when I get back to somewhere with a kitchen or something.

Having access in my room means I ought to be posting more often again (but let's not count our chickens before they hatch).

Also, here's a fun game: Think of 11 letter phrases to sing to the Mickey Mouse Club theme song. They don't have to be 6 letters and then 5 letters (like M-I-C-K-E-Y/M-O-U-S-E), but bonus points if they are. W is a hard letter to fit in, so be careful. Things like "Shakespeare", "The Lion King", and "moisturizes" totally work.
A good one John came up with was: J-E-R-E-M-Y/I-R-O-N-S! Jeremy Irons! Jeremy Irons!
One of my favorites that I came up with is: M-A-C-H-I-A-V-E-L-L-I! Machiavelli! Machiavelli!

Ok, well, this isn't a real post, just letting y'all know that I have the Intarwebs back in my dorm room. I'll post soon!

P.S.- I'm still on only my 14th straight time of Zack and Miri. It's finally dying down.

I Got My Computer Back!! Still No Internet Access, Though. (Soon, soon.)

I am watching Zack and Miri Make a Porno for the eleventh time since Wednesday afternoon. I have found editing errors, single lines that explain so much, holes in character relationships, and have memorized (and can rap almost flawlessly) the first third of MC Chris's "Fett's Vette" (the part that's played during the "Star Whores" costume and camera test). Like, literally, I know the ins and out of this movie to a point that the knowledge I have amassed almost scares me. Also, I totally want to make sweaty, passionate love to Seth Rogen (sorry, John). Yes, it has been an eventful half-week.

So, John and I were discussing this last night. I had already realized that Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Dogma, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Clerks II, and Zack and Miri Make a Porno (basically just forget Jersey Girl ever happened; I don't know if it meets the specifications I'm about to outline, and I don't care) all contained at least one cunnilingus reference, but last night, I realized that (ok, this is no big stunner) they all have at least one Star Wars reference as well. How did I not notice this before? No idea.

By the way, in case you couldn't tell, I love Kevin Smith. His movies are just the bees' knees.

I'm knitting ferociously while watching, too, because in the movie, Miri makes ONE reference to giving the girl who works at "Teen Juice" a good deal on yarn, and then you start to notice that every time you see Zack and Miri, at least one of them, if not both, is wearing a hand-crocheted scarf or hat or something. I can't crochet, but, damn it, I am knitting like a mad woman. I might have to start selling scarves so I don't wind up with a bazillion of them sitting in my closet in a box labeled "WHY?!".

It's Passover right now, so my dad Jew-guilted me into going to Hillel for Seder on Monday night. On the plus side, though, the brisket there was delicious. Then last night, he and his girlfriend brought me enough food to last me about two weeks (one huge bag full of mostly-homemade Passover food and another huge bag of non-Passover food). I don't really keep Kosher for Passover anymore, but this way I have plenty to eat that won't make me feel guilty.

On Wednesday night--technically Thursday morning--I called John and told him I was pregnant. I warned him that this would be my April Fool's prank about 6 months ago and about 6 weeks ago, and he still fell for it. I only kept it up for a second (but the crying leading up to the announcement was Oscar-worthy), because he's worried about other stuff currently, and I'm nicer than I seem. Kind of.

I follow spotted/megaphone operated a student production last week, which was nice. Very small cast and crew, no professors or anything, pretty laid back. In about a week-and-a-half, I'll start spotting a show for UT Mainstage for a grade, and that won't be as fun. But at least it's for a musical, which should keep me entertained.

The end of the school year is fast approaching, and I think I'm going to pull out with all 'A's and 'B's, if not all 'A's. And then I'll be home for the summer!! Yay!!!

I've been working on a script that I need to have a first draft of to John before I go home. I'm liking where it's going, and I think I might actually be able to finish it. If it's any good, I might try to get it performed at the New Works Festival next spring, which is kind of a big deal.

In other news, my roommate broke her toe the other day by dropping a plate on it while I watched in confusion.

Is that it? Hmm. Yeah, I think that's everything for now. More to come (or 'cum', as I continue to watch Zack and Miri). Later, y'all!